Is Michael Phelps Really Faster Than a Shark?

By James Fiske

With July right around the corner, many Americans around the country are looking forward to cookouts, fireworks and swimming pools—but some of us in the scientific community have our eyes on one particular week in July; Shark Week.

Our colleagues over at the Discovery Channel have seen the success of Shark Week grow exponentially since the beginning of the social media age—until last year. Discovery decided the iconic, weeklong, prehistoric fish extravaganza should be moved to late-June rather than early-July to avoid scheduling conflicts with the Rio Olympics. The adjustment to an age old, successful formula saw a 6.7% drop in 2016 viewership compared to the year before. CEO David Zazoff later admitted the mistake stating the timing of Shark Week 2016 was simply “too early”.
 
In an effort to help stabilize ratings for 2017, Zazoff has decided to employ the timeless and increasingly popular tactic of: ‘If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’.
 
Contrary to popular belief, Shark Week is not actually 7 days long—it is eight. But, despite its misleading title, this week (and a day) of programming is as American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and—Michael Phelps? Yes, Michael Phelps. With a well-needed boost in ratings, Discovery has turned to history’s greatest Olympian to help steady the ship.

Although his chlorinated heroics against fellow humans may have been an indirect reason for the lack of 2016 viewership, Shark Week execs have decided that testing his talents in the pool against—you guessed it, A SHARK—may be the solution to increasing ratings this year. This idea is so insane that it may work.

"This idea is so insane that it may work."

Admittedly, Michael Phelps is the undisputed fastest human to dive into a body of water. However, Michael is a human. I don’t want to get too technical but humans swim as a hobby. And although swimming may be a bit more than a hobby for Phelps, sharks are fish—and fish swim to survive. Is there any way that Michael Phelps could ever beat a shark in a race? That’s what I’m here to figure out. Which sharks could Michael Phelps actually outswim?
 
To lay the ground rules, I want to be fair to both competitors. The race will take place over the course of 100m. Although he is widely heralded as the fastest man to ever swim the Butterfly stroke, Phelps’ best time over the length of 100m was in the 2008 Beijing Olympics during the Men’s 4x100m Freestyle.  It took him just 47.51 seconds to swim the entirety of the race, so this will be the baseline for his time.
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The results may be skewed a bit because of the little flippy thing that swimmers do to transition from the first 50m to the second, and because a shark obviously is incapable of doing that little flippy thing, I will count their times as if it was a continuous 100m race. This will make their time quicker in comparison—even if moving at the same speed—because they don’t have to transition. In a completely unscientific attempt to level the playing field anytime where the shark and Phelps come within 2 seconds of each other, I’m giving the win to my fellow human. Apologies to all my readers out there that are sharks, I’m a bit biased. Without further adieu, lets get to our first competitor.

1) Great White

​This is the contender that Discovery has announced for their program "Phelps vs. Shark: Great Gold vs Great White". Contrary to popular belief, the most feared predator in the ocean is deceptively quick. At a top speed of 25 MPH, he’ll finish the race in around 9 seconds, making this one an absolute blowout. Nice try Phelps, you only need to get about 9 times faster. Keep training.

2) Tiger Shark

​The Tiger Shark is known for it’s ferocious and non-discriminatory diet, but not necessarily for it’s swimming speeds. A diet of purely car tires and license plates may lead to an out of shape shark at race time, giving Phelps and his world class nutrition plan an edge. However, at a top speed 20 MPH it would take the tiger shark about 11 seconds to finish the race. Not good, but getting closer.

3) Whale Shark

​It has become obvious that Phelps isn’t going to beat a normal, able-bodied shark in a race. But what about the largest shark in the world? Could Phelps beat a completely un-aerodynamic Whale Shark? Top speed of a whale shark is around 10 MPH, crossing the finish line in 22 seconds, more than double Phelps’ fastest time. We’re going to have to get a whole lot slower.

4) Basking Shark

If you can’t beat the biggest shark in the world, why not try the second biggest? The basking shark is known for it’s giant mouth and incredibly low speeds compared to other fish. So far, so good for Mr. Phelps. The fastest ever reported speed of a Basking Shark in the wild is 4 MPH—meaning that it would take this particular swimmer 55 seconds to finish 100m. FINALLY. We have found a shark that Michael Phelps can beat. Take that one sharks, I bet this loss stings.

"FINALLY. We have found a shark that Michael Phelps can beat. Take that one sharks..." 

As you can clearly see, Michael Phelps has no business being in the same pool as a shark. In fact, he has no business racing most ocean dwellers. Here is a quick list of notable sea creatures that Michael Phelps would actually have a good chance of beating in a race.

1. Basking Shark-4 MPH
2. Right Whale-2.5 MPH
3. Dwarf Sea Horse- 5ft Per Hour
4. Coral- Not Fast

As you can see, Phelps is no Ocean Man.  Almost every shark the world would beat Phelps head to head, especially a Great White. But, we’ve seen upsets before, Douglas over Tyson, the ’04 Red Sox, the Miracle on Ice, all of these were said to be impossible. Although this one is ACTUALLY impossible—unless the shark pulls a mussel (ha) on the home stretch—I would still advise tuning in on July 23rd on The Discovery Channel to find out for sure. Because if there’s one thing America loves more than Shark Week, its an underdog.